Crime Expert BURL BARER. Edgar Award Winner and NYT Bestselling Author

JERRY KAYE PASSES AWAY

The Legendary Jerry Kaye, brilliant radio personality and dear friend, passed away the other day. Dammit.  I hadn't seen Jerry in a few years -- he sort of evaporated as his health problems increased. Dammit.

1965-- Seattle, Washington. 11:59 PM:  I visited KJR radio to see on-air pal Big Jim Martin, but Jim was on vacatiion. Chuck Ellsworth was supposed to pull Jim's shift. Chuck, however, was unaware of this , and was on his was to Ocean Shores to go fishing. Jerry Kaye, still at the station, says to me: "Burl, you have a 1st Class FCC license don't you?"  Yeah, I have one of those. "Well," said Jerry, "You better get in there, you're first record is ending."  That's how I got on KJR for the first time, beginning a Seattle rock n roll radio career that lasted over 20 years.

When Jerry and I were on Old Gold 77, KXA we did several shows together, including the gala KXA GOES FROM "OLD GOLD" to "OH GOD!" WEEKEND -- KXA went from Golden Oldies to Pearly Gates religious....Yes when times get tough, broadcasters turn to the Lord by Transcription.. We recorded voice tracks, never hearing the songs. I saved that final tape of Jerry and I together. It's in my storage locker in Mukilteo, along with other never listened to airchecks that I "just had to save" for someday when I'm old so I can listen back and remember how much fun we had, and hear Jerry Kaye say, one more time, "If i had the sheetmusic to that one, my life would be complete." Dammit.

I MOVED/shmaltz

Forgive the lapse in dynamic exciting info on my life -- I've been moving and writing. Yes, I actually found a place in Santa Monica. I promptly pre-paid rent for a few months, and am getting situated. The neighborhood is dandy, quiet, and everything is close. No complaints -- even free DSL.  Now, if I can get some sort of health insurance for old Jewish guys who are self employed and have a history of being full of shmaltz....

CHECK OUT THIS NEW BLOG

David Zarkin -- one more relative with journalist/TV credentials -- just started a cool new blog right up the media alley of my dedicated fan & family base: www.cheezymovies.blogspot.com.

If you are into old cheezy movies, this is your opportunity to be on the ground floor of sub-referenced discussions of substandard movies filmed on less than a shoe string -- most of them pre-Velcro. Perhaps David will promote a John Agar film festival someday -- hell, SOMEBODY should! Check it out.

My landlord was going to drop kick me out today because my dog was barking outside on the dog run. Dogs do that, as their verbal skills are tragically limited. Had it been a human yelling obscenities, it wouldn't be an issue. But if a dog barks more than three times in twenty minutes, it's a BIG DEAL.  The landlord relented however, giving me time to check out an affordable shared unit about ten blocks away from where I am now in Santa Monica, and closer to the main part of town. Right on bus line, too. I've become adept at mass transit. I'm so proud of myself!  You meet interesting people on the bus -- they carry on elaborate conversations with people who aren't there, and they don't even need cell phones to do it.

WHERE TO LIVE???

I'm looking for a place to live, and the prices around here leave me drop jawed and dizzy.  Example: Studio apartment (no bedroom). $1695.  Okay, that's in Venice and on the beach.  In Las Vegas, I paid $950 for a two bedroom apartment at the Country Club overlooking the green. When they raised the rent to $1200, I moved across the street to The Palms where 1,000 sq ft was $650. Of course, the place was flooded, the management refused to fix the door lock -- and refused to fix the leak that flooded my apartment,then accused me of being a public nuisance for playing Mariachi music at full blast when I drove my truck home from work at 4am.  I NEVER HAD  A TRUCK. I DONT LISTEN TO MARIACHI MUSIC. I AM NOT THE PERSON WHO PULLED INTO THE PARKING LOT AT 4AM WITH THEIR CAR STEREO BLASTING MEXICO'S GREATEST HITS!! Despite my explanation that just because this person parked in front of my apartment (i didnt use the space because i had no car) didn't mean that I were he, or he were I, or that I was the guy! They refused to believe me. When I insisted that they repair the leak that flooded the apartment, they refused, telling me to leave because I was a public nuisance. Before i left, I got signed letters from my neighbors confirming that I was never a problem, nor a nuisance. I was just informed that The Palms has referred me for collection for $1300.00.  Amazing! As I didn't owe them money when I moved out, and they sold my bed and delivered it to someone off -property the day after I checked out,  how can I owe them money? Well, this screws with me being able to rent an apt. from any apt. management company.  Soooo...I'm searching Craigslist.org for sane possibilities. Sadly, I am not a vegan lesbian into yoga or I could share a lovely home, sleep on the futon, and grow my own yogurt for a mere $2300 a month. Anyone who has a clue about where I can live in the Los Angeles area for less than a grand a month, let me know.

RETURN OF THE PHONE

Amazing but true --my cell phone was returned! The maid (no, I don't have a personal maid) found it somewhere and turned it in to the hotel manager. Were I still in Las Vegas, the maid would have used it for $900 worth of calls to Cuba before turning it in. Santa Monica has a higher moral standard than "Sin City."

JAPAN COMES THROUGH:  My Japanese publisher amazed me today by informing me that they will actually PAY ME -- I was beginning to wonder.  According to them, money is forthcoming to my account on September 8th, 2005.  This is wonderful news. There will be celebrations in several states, provinces, and a few third world countries. Now I begin firming up a real apartment and HEALTH INSURANCE. I may live like a mench yet!  I found a delightful place here in Santa Monica that is only $16,500.00 PER MONTH.  Imagine that! That is a bit more than any sane person would pay for an apartment, and a scoche over my budget, but I think I'll look at it jsut for fun -- you know, to see how the other 1% lives.

WHERE THE HELL IS MY PHONE?

i CANT FIND MY CELL PHONE -- AGAIN!  No, i wasn't mugged and robbed. No, i didn't have burglars crawling through the windows -- I don't live in Vegas anymore. I had the damn thing in my hand. I went outside and got Isis. Went to the bathroom.,worked on the computer, and then decided to plug the phone into the charger. I reached for it and ?????? where is it??? I CANT FIND IT!!! I called Verizon and had them call my number and listened for a ring. NOTHING!  I retraced my steps. Did I set it down outside when I unhooked Isis from the dog run? Did someone walk off with it? Did I set it down in the men's room and someone walked off with it? Did it simply get burried under some clothes that I was tossing around and the ringer is muffled? Not wanting to risk it -- i had verizon suspend my cell service until i replace the phone or find it -- I have a Kyocera that will work but it needs a battery. The phone is insured, but it is $50 deductible and shipping. In the meantime  people get the message that my phone is disconected. IF YOU NEED TO CALL ME, and my cell still isnt working, call me at:

310-452-1469 EXT> 332

There is no message feature on that number -- either i answer or i don't. I will start the process of getting cell service again tomorrow. Ironically, my bill is paid and up to date at Verizon -- no service and I dont owe them a dime!

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

PRIDE: The advance reviews of Lee Goldberg's new novel,THE MAN WITH THE IRON-ON BADGE, are spectacular, impressive, praise-packed, and uplifting. Well, perhaps not as uplifting as that new high tech bra from Victoria's Secret displayed on well-endowed billboards all over Los Angeles, nor uplifting in the gag-reflex manner of the umpteenth "CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE ..." compendium, but uplifting in a positive pride inducing manner. Lee is my nephew, and he's been crafting clever capers and witty literature since childhood. His brother, Tod, is also a professional writer with a new collection of short stories, SIMPLIFY. Their sisters,Linda and Karen, also have a book forthcoming, and a family tour trading on the media-worthy novelty of four siblings in print. Of course, their brilliant author uncle Burl has a book forthcoming as well, but it is only coming out in Japan (in Japanese). Happily, my true-crime publisher, Pinnacle (part of the Kensington Publishing Group) keeps re-releasing my previous books with two additions to the covers  (1) the designation "TRUE CRIME CLASSIC" (2) a price increase.

Right now, Lee and I are both missing THE WORLD MYSTERY CONVENTION in Chicago. This is the 3rd year I've missed it, and I really wish I were there. Known as BOUCHERCON, this is the BIG CONVENTION for mystery fans to meet their favorite authors. This is a convention that is intentionally "fan based" -- or was intended as "fan based" in its conception. Lee wrote an excellent statement on why he likes BOUCHERCON, and I share his view.

I go to Bouchercon as a mystery fan first and a mystery author second. I love buying books. I love meeting the authors I admire. I love meeting people who've read my books and have enjoyed them. I love discovering new authors and new books to read. I love getting all those free books in my book bag. But most of all, I love the camaraderie of fellow writers, talking shop and learning from shared experiences....It's not Bouchercon that I'll miss this year, it's the authors and readers I won't get a chance to see. And the books I won't buy.

PREJUDICE: The current mounting tide of insane prejudice against Muslims is horrific. American Muslims outnumber Christian Scientists, Unitarians, Seventh-day Adventists, Quakers, Mennonites, and Jehovah’s Witnesses combined. The American Muslim population is also larger than that of the Presbyterians, Episcopalians, Methodists, and the Mormons. Now that Islam has replaced Judaism as the "minority religion to hate" in America, we can see that the level of prejudice in the good ol' US of A is just as repellent as ever. Even the flood in New Orleans is being used as an excuse to insult and defame fellow American citizens on the basis of religious affiliation. The latest smear campaign is the nonsense that no Muslim has given a donation to help the victims of the New Orleans tragedy. I was not aware that donations to relief organizations required reporting of ones religious affiliation, and that an accounting was made based on your method of worship. Strange thing is, of course, that the same people who rant and rage against those who embrace the Faith of Islam are also big fans of famed boxer Muhammad Ali, basketball legend Kareem Abdul Jabar, and think Queen Noor of Jordan is an exotic international Oprah.