Crime Expert BURL BARER. Edgar Award Winner and NYT Bestselling Author

Enchanting Harbor Island

KOL AM started around 1929, making it one of Seattle's earliest radio stations. It was owned by the Seattle Broadcasting Company, and located in a building on Harbor Island. There aren't many records of the station's earliest days. By 1958, KOL was a Top 40 station. The studios were still on Harbor Island, surrounded by gasoline storage tanks, railroad tracks, and busy shipyards.

I came to Seattle in the summer of 1965, and visited KOL one rainy night that fall. On the air was Danny Holiday. I asked him lots of questions, and I must admit that although Danny and I became friends over the years, and was one of the first to call me on the phone after my heart attack May 23, 2005, he really pissed me off that night! We both laugh about it now -- but it served me well. It made me absolutely determined to one day sit in his chair and play the hits!  I joined KJR in 1966, and in 1968 Danny called me from KUUU and offered me a job. Dick Curtis called that same day offering me a job at KOL. As I was delirous with a 104 fever that day, I turned them both down. I wasnt until I got over the flu that I remembered the phone calls. Despite turning down Curtis' original offer, I moved to KOL in April  1968. Twenty years after first meeting Danny Holliday, 1985, he was doing the Rock n Roll Time Machine on KZOK.  I was flattered when he requested that I fill in for him while he was on vacation. I did, and it went so well that KZOK hired me to do thirteen Weekend Specials. What fun! Thanks Danny

As for Kolorful KOL, in 1965, you could find Dex Allen, B.R. Bradbury, and Buzz Barr on the AM. Buzz was made PD, and he re-launched KOL as "Kolorful KOL, 13 Double O." Robin Mitchell came on board in 1967. Robert O. Smith, whom i first met working at KJR, also moved to KOL.  Dick Curtis moved over from KJR as PD, and he also did afternoons. Tom Murphy, Bobby Simon, Gary Crow, Robin MItchell, Chris Hill, Greg Connors, Don Wade, Paul Oscar Anderson,George Garret, Gary West and many other radio legends were part of KOL  Buckley Broadcasting became the new owner and GM in 1968. Dick Curtis was named GM of the AM in 69. He brought Lan Roberts back again to be PD and morning man.




A Little Bit Country...
IN 1973, KOL FM's independent programming ended. They briefly simulcasted with the AM again and then switched to soft rock. In 1975, both stations were sold to Hercules Broadcasting, owned by Manning Slater. The FM was changed to KEUT, an automated, beautiful-music format. The AM became KMPS, with a country format patterned after a station they owned in Sacramento. Rick Stewart was PD and also on the air, along with Art Lind, and Lee Rogers, playing the KMPS "Corral of Country Hits." Kay Spilker was sales manager, and Jim McGovern was GM.

Jewish Humor

* There was a beautiful young woman knocking on my hotel room door all night! I finally had to let her out.

* A car hit an elderly Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living."

* I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

* I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me!

* What are three words a woman never wants to hear when she's making love? "Honey, I'm home!"

* Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.

* We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

* My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night, only this time I stayed in the bathroom and cried.

* My wife and I went to hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.

* She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

* I was just in London - there is a 6-hour time difference. I'm still confused. When I go to dinner, I feel sexy. When I go to bed, I feel hungry.

* The doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months.

* The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"

* Doctor: "You'll live to be 60!"
Patient: "I AM 60!"
Doctor: "See! What did I tell you?"

* A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me!"

* Doctor says to a man, "You're pregnant!" The man says, "How does a man get pregnant?" The doctor says, "The usual way. A little wine, a little dinner, you know?"

* Patient: "I have a ringing in my ears." Doctor: "Don't answer!"
* A drunk was in front of a judge.
The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started."

* A bum asked a Jewish fellow, "Give me $10 till payday." The Jewish fellow responded, "When's payday?" The bum said, "I don't know! You're the one that's working!"

* Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.

* Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.

STUPID PEOPLE

STUPID PEOPLE ARE REALLY STUPID.
For example: There is a music room on Pal Talk, "Music Appreciation for Muslims."   The purpose of the room is to teach Muslims to appreciate music.  The  motivation, supposedly, is  that many Muslims are interested in music, and this site provides an introduction to diverse musical forms utilized world-wide. Nice, I guess.
Well, I went into the room and found one of the people in charge of the room posting false and inflamatory statements about Islam in the room text.
He said that in the Koran, God is not merciful or compassionate.
This statement is absurd, and easily disproved. All one has to do is read the very first verse of the Koran:
"In the name of the merciful and compassionate God. Praise belongs to God, the Lord of the worlds, the merciful, the compassionate..."

   I posted that in the room and the moderator responded, "That is lovely. Where is it from?" 
"That is the very first verse of the Koran," I replied honestly.
"WRONG!" He typed. "YOU ARE A LIAR!"
Then my text was disabled in the room, and I was  no longer allowed to say anything.  I was not wrong. I was not lying. I simply posted the exact wording of the opening verse of the Koran.  It was not opinion. It was fact.  As the truth contradicted his preconceived opinion, he would not allow the truth to be posted.
This reminds me of an excellent segment of NPR's "All Things Considered" entitled "There is such a thing as truth.

Errol Morris    

 

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Nubar Alexanian

Errol Morris is an Academy Award-winning documentary filmmaker whose works include The Thin Blue Line, A Brief History of Time and The Fog of War:  Eleven Lessons from the Life of Robert S. McNamara.  He is also the director of a number of critically acclaimed television programs and commercials.

 

 

 

“Truth is not relative. It's not subjective. It may be elusive or hidden. People may wish to disregard it. But there is such a thing as truth.”

 

 

All Things Considered, May 2, 2005 · I believe in truth.  And in the pursuit of truth. 

When I was 10 years old, I asked a neighborhood kid who was older than me, "Which city is further west: Reno, Nev., or Los Angeles?" The correct answer is Reno, Nev. But he was convinced it was the other way around.

He was so convinced that Los Angeles was west of Reno that he was willing to bet me two bucks. So I went into the house to get my Rand McNally Atlas. The kid looked at the atlas and said, "The map is drawn funny." It wasn't. Was his argument that the map didn't preserve east, west, north and south? What kind of map would that be? I showed him if you trace down the 120-degree west line of longitude -- which runs almost directly through Reno, Nev. -- you end up in the Pacific Ocean, somewhere west of Los Angeles.

He replied that lines of longitude don't cross the ocean. 

What? I told him that the lines of longitude were there to indicate how far west or east some location was, regardless of whether it was on land or on sea.

There was one insurmountable problem, however.  He was bigger than me.

I drew a number of conclusions from this story. 

There is such a thing as truth, but we often have a vested interest in ignoring it or outright denying it. Also, it's not just thinking something that makes it true. Truth is not relative. It's not subjective. It may be elusive or hidden. People may wish to disregard it. But there is such a thing as truth and the pursuit of truth: trying to figure out what has really happened, trying to figure out how things really are.

Almost 15 years ago, I stumbled on a story about an innocent man, a man who had been sentenced to die in the Huntsville, Texas, electric chair. And through hard work, luck and a certain amount of pathological obsession, I was able to make the movie The Thin Blue Line and to help get him out of prison.

What kept me going was the belief that there had to be answers to the questions "Did he do it?", "Was he guilty or innocent?", "If he didn't do it, who did?" and that I could find an answer to these questions through investigating.

It's not that we find truth with a big "T." We investigate and sometimes we find things out and sometimes we don't. There's no way to know in advance. It's just that we have to proceed as though there are answers to questions. We must proceed as though, in principle, we can find things out -- even if we can't. The alternative is unacceptable.

I will never know whether the neighborhood kid really didn't understand the logic of my argument about Reno, Nev. Or whether he understood it completely and just didn't want to admit it. Or whether he understood it and just didn't want to pay up. I'll never know.

All I know is I never got my two dollars.

PASTIME CAFE

If you've read my novel HEADLOCK, you know about Robert Fazzari and the  Pastime Cafe in Walla Walla, WA.  The sequel to HEADLOCK, although unfinished,  begins there also, and no doubt end there as well -- the Pastime  closed this weekend. Here's the story from this week's Walla Walla Union-Bulletin:

Finding a seat at the Pastime Cafe on Thursday would practically have taken a miracle.

And not just because of the buy-one-lasagna-dinner-get-another-half-price special that for years made Thursday a must-stop for pasta lovers at the Main Street restaurant.

Customers are crawling out of the woodwork to say goodbye to the historic Italian cafe with the neon sign. On Saturday the business will close after more than eight decades of business.

``I remember going there with my dad when I was a little kid,' said daily customer Dominick Elia. ``I think that's what people are going to miss.

``I took my son there as a boy, and I think he was looking forward to one day taking his little girl there.'

Linda Fisher, a waitress and bartender at the Pastime for the last nine years, is preparing for an emotional last shift.

``I've had so many customers tell me this is a family place,' she said. ``Customers are so upset.'

Informally, many of them have seen this coming as talk of a sale has swirled since last summer. But until now, owner Robert Fazzari would not publicly confirm the rumors in case the deal fell through.

Fazzari now says that after closing Saturday he plans to pass the keys to new owner Charles Smith.

``It's going to be hard walking out that door,' Fazzari said. ``I've spent three-quarters of my life here.'

Terms of the sale have not been disclosed. Smith, owner of local winery K Vintners, will reportedly remodel portions of the inside before opening a new restaurant. He could not be reached for comment. But one feature that won't be carried over with his ownership are the recipes that have been the tradition of the Pastime. Fazzari said those will remain with him.

Smith will take possession of the building Jan. 31. The 10 days in between the close of the business and the close of the sale will give Fazzari time to clean and tie up loose ends.

Fazzari said the Vargas pinup girl decor on the brick interior of the bar and nearly every other storied decoration will be part of the sale. Though the family pictures will go with Fazzari, Smith has reportedly asked to get copies, presumably to pay tribute to a family restaurant that's hosted celebratory dinners, jurors from the courthouse, farmers in dirty boots and politicians campaigning with the breakfast crowd.

The memories are all tied in with the aroma of the food. And the closure marks not only the end of the restaurant, but a symbol of Italian heritage.

``So many families have worked here,' Fazzari said.

But as more and more restaurants open, carrying on the 18-hour days Fazzari learned from his father becomes more and more difficult.

``As more restaurants come into Walla Walla, the pie gets thinner and thinner,' he said.

The effects have shown over the last few years. Despite the regular customers, as reliable as the sunrise each morning as they trickle in throughout the day - some veering left to the dining room, others headed to the bar at the right - the business is not as busy as it was.

Six or seven years ago, when the doors opened at 5:30 a.m., it took about 40 employees to staff the business. Now the restaurant opens at 8 a.m. and staff has been trimmed to 18 or 19 employees, Fazzari said.

Nevertheless, consistency is the valued trademark, whether there be 50 employees or five. That's what built the name when in the 1920s Fazzari's grandfather, Louis Fazzari, became involved.

According to a history of the Pastime - printed and displayed on the back of the business's menu - it started in 1920 as a cigar store by two Japanese men on Fourth Avenue.

Five years later, Louis Fazzari and Same Mele bought the store and moved it to its Main Street location.

In 1927, Frank Rizzuti bought Mele's interest in the business.

Food wasn't brought in to the picture until 1932, and only in limited capacity. With no kitchen on the premises, Louis' wife Jennie prepared Italian food at home and Frank's wife, Lena, made American food.

The Pastime was one of the few businesses that flourished during the Great Depression. Not long after that, it expanded, adding the cafe and kitchen in 1935.

With an air base in Walla Walla during World War II, the business's popularity continued to grow. In 1949, it again expanded, adding the ``Venetian Room,' which could accommodate banquets and private parties. Today, it's the restaurant's dining room.

Louis Fazzari retired in 1959, and his son Frank bought his share of the business. Louis, however, remained active until his death in 1983.

In 1968, Frank bought Rizutti's share, becoming sole owner. With the help of many family members, including his children and sisters, Dorothy Criscola and Alice Pontarolo, he was head of operations until his death in 2002.

Son Robert Fazzari, who had worked in the restaurant since he was 12, became the operator with restaurant manager Craig Arland.

Fazzari was proud to carry on the traditions. To this day, he cashes checks brought in by customers and happily serves hearty meals to the down-trodden and hungry.

``A man who's down and out and needs a bowl of soup and a burger - of course we'll give it to them,' he said.

Where folks will be able to go for that service is not clear. Customers and employees say there's no other place like it.

As for Fazzari's future, he says he's not sure. He is also not confirming rumors that he and Arland plan to take the recipes and open a new restaurant.

But with equal parts gratitude and exhaustion, he said it's time for him to try something different.

``It'll probably be a couple of weeks before I decide to drive passed the place,' he said. ``The customers, the employees - of course I'll miss them. I grew up with them.'

LOVE POTION #9

David Zarkin asked "Who did Love Potion #9?" The answer, of course, is THE CLOVERS back in 1959 If you want to sing along, here are the lyrics. Love Potion #9  The Clovers - 1959 Lyrics: I took my troubles down to Madam Rue You know, that gypsy with the gold-capped tooth She's got a place down on 34th and Vine Selling little bottles of Love Potion Number 9. I told her that I was a flop with chicks I've been that way since 1966 She looked at my palm and she made up my design Said "what you need is Love Potion Number 9". She bent down and turned around and gave me a wink She said "I'm gonna mix it up right here in the sink" It smelled like terpentine, it looked like India ink I held my nose, I closed my eyes, I took a drink I didn't know if it was day or night I started kissing everything in sight But when I kissed a cop down on 34th and Vine He broke my little bottle of Love Potion Number 9. Ending: Love Potion Number 9 Love Potion Number 9 Love Potion Number Ni-i-i-i-ine

Dog Whisperer II

THE DOG WHISPERER is a hit TV show on the National Geographic cable network. Millions are addicted to this reality show, and for good reason. Cesar (the dog whisperer) is to dogs and owners what Dr. Phil is to human communication breakdown, failed marriages, and other psychological/social ills. 

I have a dog named Isis. My pal Judi Faye has a dog named Tina. Judi and I get together on the weekends and see all the movies at the Directors Guild, the Writers Guild, and the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences. We do this because (a) we both like movies, and we get in free because she is a member of all these organizations. Yes, she is THAT Judi Faye -- you know, the singer, actress, and well known chanteuse dowager. Judi is the only dancer i know with gout. You better not step on HER foot when dancing unless you want to see a middle aged Jewess hop around on one foot screaming obscenities in Yiddish. Then again, the visuals may be worth the relationship fallout.

Judi has a dog named Tina. Tina doesn't dance or swear in Yiddish. My dog met her dog and my dog attacked her dog.  This is not good.

Sooooo....we called the Dog Whisperer.  Sort of like WIRE PALLIDIN. HAVE LEASH WILL TRAVEL.   He shows up armed with his wife, kid, crew, and two HD video cameras.  Within ten minutes he has the two dogs walking together on the same leash!  Sadly, he took that leash with him when he left.  The dogs were soon plotting various nefarious canine crimes against each other.  It was like SPY VS SPY without the bombs.  Judi's reaction to the dogs sniffing each other was "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!! YIPES!!!!!! THEY WILL ALL BE DEAD BY DAWN!!!"  Her demeanor assured panic for blocks. People who don't even own dogs were buying muzzles -- for Judi.

I sent Judi off to do something productive...you know, go to the thrift store and buy some used videos marked "FOR YOUR EMMY CONSIDERATION -- NOT FOR SALE" while I did my impersonation of the Dog Whisperer.  By the time she returned clutching a TNT original, the fireworks were over. Tina and Isis were walking in circles sniffing each other's butts with joyous alacrity.  They played together all day in the yard, and only bit each other twice. They had great fun, and all is well in dogland.

You can see Cesar unleash his talents on the two dogs February 2nd on the National Geographic network 8pm PST. For exact schedule info see the Dog Whisperer page on National Geographic's website.

FASCINATION

When I was a kid, my family would often visit Seaside,Oregon. My brother Stan, a teenager, was obsessed with watching the rear ends of the girls dancing on Dick Clark’s American Bandstand, and playing a game called FASCINATION on Seaside’s Boardwalk.  The game works like this: you toss your balls at holes, hoping to win. You don’t win, but you keep tossing anyway. It is much the same with the movie of the same name, FASCINATION. Supposedly taking place in Florida, this “erotic thriller” was shot entirely in Puerto Rico in 2002. All participants apparently recovered from the shooting, although their careers were wounded. Excuse me for saying, “erotic thriller.” It is not erotic and not thrilling. In fact, if you were having hot sex while the DVD played, you and your lover would find a sudden chill dampening your enthusiasm.  Ok – it’s not enough to say that this is a rotten film. It IS a rotten film but the acting is fine by everyone except the lead actor, Adam Garcia. Yes, THAT Adam Garcia, best known to American audiences as the voice of KANGAROO JACK. All he does is make faces, as if acting was simply the distortion of one’s features. Plus how can this guy be erotically obsessed with his step sister when he is gay enough to be the star pupil in QUEER EYE?

Honestly, I thought a major plot point was going to be that he was initially resisting his step sister's advances because he was in a homosexual relationship with his lawyer. WRONG. Perhaps he was in a homosexual relationship with the director, because I don’t know how else he got this part.

Well, after doing intensive research on line, I see how he landed the role. He does have a career, but not exactly as a male sex symbol for females.  Garcia landed his first film role as an American minor ogled by Stephen Fry's Oscar Wilde in the 1997 biopic "Wilde". Later that year, he created a stir stepping into John Travolta's platform shoes as Tony Manero in the London staging of "Saturday Night Fever". While many felt the show had problems, there were almost unanimous raves for Garcia and his sexy, swaggering take on the role. Turning down the opportunity to recreate the role on Broadway (he did not want to sign a one-year contract), he reunited with Dein Perry for Perry's feature directorial debut "Bootmen" (2000), playing Sean, a young steelworker who leaves his job to pursue tap dancing. Before audiences could see him display his considerable terpsichorean gifts, however, they could view his star-making turn in "Coyote Ugly". Capitalizing on the hype and buzz, Garcia signed to star opposite Drew Barrymore (as her grown son!) in the romantic comedy "Riding in Cars with Boys" (2001).

Garcia recently scored a plum role on stage in a musical remake of ON THE TOWN.

That’s him in the middle between two sailors

I am resisting an obvious joke.

LAN ROBERTS SIGNS OFF

I woke up Friday morning thinking about Lan Roberts. I saw Lan recently when we got together with other well known has-beens to honor our deceased pal, Jerry Kay.
Lan, sadly, didn't look well at all. He wasn't.  He passed away Friday. Damn. My friends must stop dying -- but I guess that's the price we pay for staying alive. Bwahna Johnny also passed away about three days after Lan, Tom Murphy, and several others visited him on Mercer Island.  It wasn't their fault, honest.
Lan was a brilliant radio talent and one hell of a nice guy -- kind compassionate and appreciative of every pleasant and positive thing in life. I'm proud to say he was my friend, and I will miss him.
Here is a pic of Lan (l) and Jerry Kay (r) from "back when":