Crime Expert BURL BARER. Edgar Award Winner and NYT Bestselling Author

THE SAINT on TNT

If I have anything to say about it, and supposedly I do, the new SAINT TV project for TNT will retain the flavor of Charteris' original.
The Roger Moore series that began in 1962 used the "glob trotting celebrity" character found in Charteris later short stories, and due to the restrictive TV codes of the time, Charteris lamented that the Saint on TV bore as much similarity to his creation as Winnie the Pooh did to Captain Blood.
Times have changed -- restrictions have relaxed. Soooo...this version of The Saint will be the more dangerous and picaresque adventurer, having way too much fun as he takes on recalcitrant and contumacious oppressors while bedding the requisite bevy of beauties -- including the mercurial and romantic Ms Patricia Holm. As all Saint fans know, Simon Templar parks his shoes in numerous international locales, but Holm is where he hangs his hat -- or halo.
Bill Macdonald asked me to serve as "consultant" to the project, and has honestly taken my suggestions to heart (and page). The show should be really cool, faithful to the character, and won't have Charteris getting what he termed Graveyard Torque from spinning in his metaphoric grave. What I like best about the project, of course, is that I'm supposedly getting paid for my wit and wisdom. As with any TV or film project - or publishing for that matter -- I will be 100% convinced when the check clears the bank. As Bill has never deceived me in the past, I trust it will all come out in the wash, even if the spin cycle makes me crazy.

The Non Fiction Novel

Are all novels fiction?  Are all non-fiction books factually true?
If a true story is told in narrative 3rd person omniscient voice (In Cold Blood),  is it now fiction? If a true story is told in first person episodic narrative (Robinson Crueso),  is it now fiction? 

A few years ago, seven non-fiction authors of "fact crime" or "true crime," including my friends Jack Olsen and Gary C. King,   campaigned  to convince the publisher of Lorenzo Carterra's novel, "Sleepers," to remove the "true crime" non-fiction   
description from the book cover.  The novel was supposedly a true story about Carterra's childhood. The story, however, was 99% artistic invention. For this reason, the movie version's advertising proclaimed that the film was  "Based on the controversial novel.."
In 1995, the Detroit News wrote, The pastor at a New York City Catholic school has called for a criminal investigation into the publishing of Sleepers, a best-selling book that claims to be a true story about a murder and a priest's role in its cover-up.

"Essentially, the book is a hoax," says William Callahan, a private investigator hired by the pastor. "It's fiction from start to finish."

Thomas Harvey, the lawyer for Sacred Heart Church, which operates the school, plans to turn over the results of Callahan's investigation to the Manhattan district attorney. Harvey will also seek an injunction to prevent the book from being published in Great Britain, where libel laws are stricter.

The Rev. Kevin Nelan, pastor of Sacred Heart, says that he hopes at least to get the name of his church and school changed in the movie version, which is now being filmed in Manhattan with Robert De Niro, Dustin Hoffman and Brad Pitt.

Suspicions of the book's authenticity have been voiced since it came out this summer, but last week marked the first time anyone has threatened to make a legal case of the matter.

Lorenzo Carcaterra, the book's author, writes in its introduction that -- except for his school, which he openly identifies as "Sacred Heart" -- he changed names and precise dates.

However, a priest who claims to be the model for one of the book's leading characters -- a Sacred Heart priest who Carcaterra has lying in court to protect two murderers -- also slams the book as "fiction."

The Rev. John Duffell, former Sacred Heart associate pastor, now at the Ascension Church in Manhattan, says, "I know all the people who are the characters in the book. None of the things in this book ever happened. It is totally fictitious"

Jack Olsen, the "Dean of True Crime writers" always stressed the  importance of journalistic ethics, and often lamented that Capote's In Cold Blood, the novelization of an actual event, forever blurred the line between fact and fiction.  We became close friends when he read my book, Man Overboard: The Counterfeit Resurrection of Phil Champagne, in which I attempted a Through the Looking Glass  reversal by writing a factual journalistic report of an admittedly fictionalized life. 

Are all novels fiction?  Novel means "new" or "news."  Is what you hear on the Evening News fact or fiction?  Is it news or entertainment?
When the President of the United States said "Iraq has weapons of mass destruction, and we know where they are,"  it was reported as news. It was complete fiction.
News=Fact. News=Novel. Novel=Fiction?

So, despite ye olde dictionary saying that novels are works of fiction of  a certain length, it may be that novels are a narrative literary form, longer than a novella or novelette, and may be factual, fictional, or a blending of both. You know, like those Docu-Dramas on TV.

DON'T WRITE THAT CHECK!

Aspiring authors whose concepts of reality include anthropomorphic animals solving homicides, and intergalactic lizards mating with British Royalty, cling tenaciously to their fantasies.   Despite my explaining, in detail, the absurdity of self-publishing a fiction novel in order to make more money, the unpublished first-time writer said "but I would get to keep all the money from the millions of people who would read the book!"   

The best reality check/cure I've found for these people is to send them to a large major book store -- the biggest Barnes and Noble in town, for example -- so they can see the thousnds of books, all written by professional authors.  With all these books available, who exactly are the millions who want to read yours? And why? How are they going to hear about it, where will they buy it?

Even a book from an authentic publisher; a book garnering rave reviews, may not sell well due to the limited market for that particular genre, distribution problems, marketing issues, or simply competition in the marketplace for readers' book buying dollars.

I have 12 books published, in various languages, and one even made the New York Times Best Sellers List -- but none of them has made me rich, and none of them have sold in the millions. Hundreds of thousands, over time, yes. Millions, No.

Had I paid some company to publish them, I would not be a professional author. I would be somene who writes as a hobby, and pays to put my hobby on display, in stacks, in my garage or basement and in the trunk of my car.

Sex Professionals Unite, and Alina Adams is up for an award.

                       All professions have various associations, clubs, and special interest groups. Some of them lobby for legislation, such as "California Professional Firefighters," or "The International Union of Professional Sex Workers" Yes, sex service professionals are entitled to  safe working conditions, and collective bargaining doesn't just refer to 3-ways anymore.

I'm not a firefighter, and writing tie-in novels is not the prostitution of art and literature.  I belong to International Association of Media Tie-In Writers and as of right now, the books submitted for consideration in the Tie-In Writers Awards for the Category of GENERAL FICTION/BEST NOVEL (original) are:

LAS VEGAS: HIGH STAKES by Jeff Mariotte
MR. MONK GOES TO HAWAII by Lee Goldberg
MURDER SHE WROTE: THREE STRIKES AND YOU'RE DEAD by Donald Bain
GUNSMOKE: THE RECKLESS GUN by Joseph A. West
CSI: SNAKE EYES by Max Allan Collins
OAKDALE CONFIDENTIAL: SECRETS REVEALED by Alina Adams
ALIAS: NAMESAKES by Greg Cox
CSI NY: BLOOD ON THE SUN by Stuart Kaminsky

Alina Adams, author of Oakdale Confidential,  recently posted these comments on the official tie-in writers blog:

Whenever I see the above list, I am tempted to regress to Sesame Street age (it's not that hard, I have three small children, at any given point in any given day, someone is screaming that they want to watch it) and hum, "One of these kids doesn't belong here/One of these kids isn't the same."

The kid in question would be me.  Alina Adams, author of "Oakdale Confidential." Because, while all of the other titles are tie-ins to shows that feature stand-alone episodes with beginnings, middles and ends, mine came from the soap opera, "As The World Turns," a genre where a story actually coming to an end would mean, well, the end.

In that respect, all of the stories featured in the other tie-in novels could have conceivably happened in between the characters' other adventures.  My characters have no in-betweens. They're on five days a week (sure, maybe my story could have been squeezed in on that rare weekend off, but it's kind of doubtful).

In addition, even the longest running show on the list, "Gunsmoke," only ran twenty years. "As The World Turns" celebrated fifty years on the air last April. (Hence, my use of the word "only" prior to "twenty years.") Even if the writers had been so motivated, they would have had "only twenty years," at most, of history to summarize. I had fifty. And some of my under 25 year old characters have already been married three times. Not to mention come back from the dead once or twice.

Finally, all of the other books carry bylines of real people. Even "Murder, She Wrote" is credited to Jessica Fletcher (not a real person) and Donald Bain (presumably a real person -- we've never met).  Mine is credited to Katie Peretti (not a real person) WITH Alina Adams (I like to think I'm real but, as stated below, I have three children, so altered states of sleep deprived reality are not out of the question).

So, one of these kids isn't the same... But I'm still thrilled to have been allowed to join in the fun.

Fun?
Yes!
Writers have fun writing, even when the fun is torturous.
As the madame said to her employees in Wild Orchid Two, "If you are doing something you don't enjoy, become someone who enjoys it."