Crime Expert BURL BARER. Edgar Award Winner and NYT Bestselling Author

TRUE CRIME AUTHOR HAS SEX!

Amazing but true, Suzy Spencer has sex. She thinks about sex, talks about sex, and wants to know all the juicy details of your sex life -- AND she wants to share the info with the world in her forthcoming book, SEX IN AMERICA.  While Suzy may have seriously considered having sex with every American citizen, tourist, green card holder, and illegal alien, she's opted instead to offer a SEX SURVEY you can take on line, and not reveal your name, or the name(s) of your fellow participants.  Just caress the phrase SEX SURVEY with your mouse, or glide your fingers over the sensitive touch pad on your laptop, then press on it firmly -- suddenly, your computer will respond by transporting you to the erotic and scholarly world of Suzy's SEX SURVEY.
Suzy, of course, is best known for her true crime books, such as Breaking Point.  We have different publishers, so we fight over who gets the best shelf space.  She has a very attractive back list. Mine in longer.
Get a good look at her back list by visiting http://www.suzyspencer.com  

Richard Tyson & Chris Cooper

It's been my pleasure to make friends with Richard Tyson, excellent actor, sports buff, and all-around good fellow.  We met in Encino Hills...actually Magic Mat Alan's back yard, where we are regular guests on the live broadcast OUTLAW RADIO (live from the Lighten Up Lounge). 

 

The show is

 

great fun, I love being on it with Mat, his brother, and many others.  Richard's had the great honor of working with some fabulous actors, including Chris Cooper.

Chris did a Q and A at a screening of BREACH, along with the director. I was very impressed with not only the film the acting, but also with Cooper's demeaner during the Q and A. He is a true "actor's actor."
It turns out that Tyson and Cooper did a film together -- Pharaohs Army. I' must add it to my Blockbuster list.

BURL FLIES OFF THE HANDLE RE: Self Publishing

I received the following email on MYSPACE...no doubt well intentioned, but it irked me. Here  it is.
"While reading your wonderful profile I could not help but notice that you have authored some books. If getting your "words" out to a larger audience is something that has some interest to you ..."

I continued reading this informative missive, and then the following paragraph hit me between the eyes:

"This is a great opportunity for you as a self-published author to have your book listed and distributed along with some of the greatest books ever written!"

Since when am I self-published? Hey, I get royalty checks in the mail from more than one internationally established publishing company, get advances from publishers before I write a word (okay, not enormous advances, but advances!), and I've never paid for the honor of being an author.

The next paragraph reinforced my "irk factor":

 "BookWise is very supportive of the self-published author, and one of the perks of being a member is the Author’s Workshop coming up for all members this Oct 18,and 19th, 2007. And the 20th the first company convention-FREE TO ALL it’s members"

Well, that pushed me over the edge.  Perhaps I was channeling my nephew, Lee Goldberg, when I hastily replied:

I am NOT Self-Published, subsidy published, or any other variation on vanity publishing. I am PAID to write by real publishers -- I do not pay printers to print up my books and then have the nerve to call myself a published author.

Next time you read a profile, actually READ it. In my opinion, calling yourself an author when you are self-published is like calling yourself a doctor because you purchased a stethoscope.

---

Okay, that may have been a bit harsh.

I heard back right away informing me that  Bookwise also features real authors published by real publishers. Good for them. I wrote back and wished them the best of luck on their charity endeavors.

But why do people assume that we all self-publish?  When I was recently introduced somewhere, and it was mentioned that I've written a dozen books, the first question was "Have any of your books been published by a real publisher, or do you print them up yourself?"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

 

THE DOG WHISPERER RETURNS

The Dog Whisperer will be here at 8:30am to do a follow-up segment on our dogs. They were such a hit last season! They even get fan mail. I don't; they do. Go figure. Full details after the "shoot."

Who's That On Rosie's Blog?

If you go to Rosie's blog, you'll see my neice Linda on the left side margin wearing a PEACE T-shirt. WOW.

I knew there was a reason I still like Rosie. Plus, Rosie is an advocate of human rights, justice, equality, and the elimination of prejudice. No one who advocates such good things can be all bad...or all good,..or all anything...go rent HALF NELSON..a movie that is excellent, but not all the time.

Meanwhile, once again I was a guest on Outlaw Radio with Matt Alan..live from the Encino Hills...this time I was on with another batch of fabulous entertaining people. Very Special guest was Robert Hays ..best known probably for AIRPLANE and AIRPLANE 2
He was fabulous, funny, and we had a marvelous time. Also on the show was Preston Niles of the Knack, Richard Tyson (actor too)

and all sorts of other cool people who will be mad that I didn't mention their names! The show is on every saturday from 3pm-6pm with an "aftershow" from 6-9 pm pacific time. You can hear it live on your computer by going to http://www.mrcigar.com
if it doesnt work, its because of your firewall or something.. it is only on when it is on...wait till saturday..we shall return!

HELEN BARER - yes, we are related.

             

HELEN BARER
                  New York
                  Helen Barer is a New Yorker, born and bred in Brooklyn. She graduated from Bennington College in Vermont, got a Master's Degree from NYU Graduate School of Arts & Sciences, was a 'gofer' at CBS Television, and an editorial assistant at Collier's Encyclopedia. (Don't ask: No, she didn't cover the letter A; she did work on the Encyclopedia Yearbook and entries about Arts and Literature.)
Barer's editorial career continued at Time-Life Books, where she became a copy editor, researcher, writer (after participating in a groundbreaking lawsuit in which women were finally allowed to work as writers), and editor. She'd become an instant expert on subjects ranging from international cooking to art history to anthropology... and promptly forgot each subject as she moved to the next.
After years taken to raise her daughter, Helen fulfilled a lifelong dream and worked in film documentaries. Writing film treatments and proposals for the legendary documentary maker Lucy Jarvis, Helen was also an associate producer.
In recent years, Helen has volunteered at nonprofit agencies, serving as the Director of Volunteers at the Jewish Community Center on the Upper West Side, and on the Board of Directors of The Retreat, a domestic violence agency in eastern Long Island.

             

Fitness Kills, ISBN: 1594145857, Five Star hardcover, 201 pages, $25.95, July 2007.

             

 

WILLIE ROCKMORE AUDITIONS FOR B.I.G

My old pal Willie Rockmore has auditioned at the Fox Searchlight open casting call for the part of Notorious BIG. If this video link works, here it is:

Ive seen him better, but he's still the best for the role. I suppose this isn't a real open casting call, but a publicity stunt. They have probably already cast the part...maybe Eddie Murphy in a fat suit, or Chris Rock on steroids.

POETRY SCAMS!

 I recently posted good advice gleaned from the excellent source, Writer Beware. Sadly, authors are not the only writers tricked out of their money. Poets are the #1 target for scam artists in the "literary scam" market. Fake poetry contests and bogus anthologies rip off thousands of people for millions of dollars every year.  Once again, instead of the writer being paid, the writer is supposed to pay...sometimes thousands of dollars. Here is some info from a fabulous source on all manner of scams, and ripoffs. Read the entire site - you will be drop jawed at how poets are deceived and ripped off. It all comes down to the basic point -- in the real world, publishers pay authors. Authors don't pay publishers.Publishers pay poets and give them at least one free copy of the publication; Poets don't pay publishers and poets don't advance order (for money) a copy of the publication.
Read on: .....(from the site I mentioned):

  "World's Best Poetry Contest:Up to $20,000 in prizes! Become a Published Poet!" How is the struggling writer to distinguish the reputable contests from the not-so-reputable? It isn't easy, when the scam artists seduce us with  names like "National Library of Poetry", "Institute ofContemporary American Poetry" or "International Poetry Hall  of Fame".          

Some warning signs:

Their anthology of winning poems will be described in glowing terms --"one of the most highly acclaimed additions to the pool of poetic literature" raves one promo piece. They're selling books, not snake-oil, but the language is the same. There are no free contributors' copies: you'll be asked to buy your author's  copy (and, they hope, several more for your friends, relatives and local library) for up to $150 each. Or attend a convention (registration fee: $495) or join the International Society of Poets($125) or attend a poetry camp where your name goes up in lights ($600 for 3 days). The National Library of Poetry anthologies run around 600 pages, with 10 poems per page. That's 6000 "winning" poets a good percentage of whom will buy the book.* Very large cash prizes with no entry fee. (Ask yourself how this contest is being financed).If you submit to one of these pseudo-contests, your letter of acceptance (and you'll almost certainly get one) should set           off alarm bells. Every sentence oozes flattery: you've been selected for publication solely on the basis of your "rare and unique talent". In a legitimate competition you're judged by recognized professionals, or at least by your writing peers. In the vanity     contests, there's no discrimination. Good and deliberately awful poems receive the same lavish praise.

* Expensive ads in glossy magazines and daily newspapers. Legitimate writers' organizations are more likely to run modest announcements in publications read by the writing community.

                                    

If you're in doubt about the validity of a contest,  do some research. Talk to your state or regional writers' organization. Phone your library and your local bookseller -- ask if they've ever heard of           the sponsoring organization, or its publications. Check with the  Better Business Bureau. Easiest of all is a search for "Poetry Scams" on the internet, where you'll find handy lists of the Worst Online Poetry Contests.

I love writing, reading and support the efforts of everyone and anyone who really wants to write, and be published. Please, don't allow some insincere greedy con artist take advantage of your dreams. If you want any guidance, just ask. I'll refer you to real people in the real world. Dreams come true in the real world when you do it the real way.

Best to you,

Burl Barer