Crime Expert BURL BARER. Edgar Award Winner and NYT Bestselling Author

Going Bat Sh*t/ You are the Wings on my cake

The former CEO of the leading supplier of body armor to U.S. soldiers in Iraq was charged yesterday with looting the company to bankroll a lavish lifestyle that included a $10 million bat mitzvah for his daughter
TEN MILLION DOLLARS FOR A BAT MITZVAH?????    That's insane, unless he had Moses and Aaron flown in from the Bosom of Abraham to serve as Rabbi and Cantor, Jesus of Nazareth doing Valet Parking, and Muhammad (pbuh), handling security. But on second thought, Moses, Aaron, Jesus and Muhammad would have done a Bat Mitzvah simply for the mitzvah (blessing/honor/commandment). No, he paid Aerosmith, Eagles, Kenny G and Tom Petty cozmic bucks to perform.

My favorite Bar Mitvah story is my own:   My mom hired Mr. McGee to make little cakes at everyone's place setting at the reception.  Each cake had a "B" on it (for Burl).   On the day of the event, Mr. McGee calls up. "Mrs Barer. We have a problem. Try as we might, we can't get the wings to look right."
Wings?
"On the bees."
"BEES?!!!  His name is BURL BARER. Both his first and last name begin with "B" -- the letter B doesn't have any wings!!!"
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Hello, I just called to tell you that Mom died.

I was on the shuttle bus from Van Nuys to LAX about 9am when I called my Mom's condo in Seattle and asked her caregiver if my Mom was still living. "No, I'm sorry. She passed away just a few minutes ago. We haven't even had the chance to call your family yet. Would you mind calling your sister and letting her know, and do you mind calling so and so and........?" I wasn't surprised at the news, not in the least. In all practicality Mom "should" have passed away last night, but she knew there was a dinner party at my brother's house for Senator  Hillary Clinton, and Mom would NEVER screw  up a dinner party. Sooo she waited till the party was over, the place cleaned up and the dishes put away, and the host and hostess rested before cancelling her subscription  to linear time. We are sending her body UPS to Walla Walla. Funeral Friday in the old hometown. What a way to have a family reunion. ----------------------- We laid my mom to rest Friday in Walla Walla, Washington. We flew down there in my brother's plane -- or his company's plane. It was my brother, his wife, his daughter, my sister,  her son (Lee Goldberg), my son, the Rabbi, and my ex-wife. Meeting us there were the rest of my sisters kids (Linda Woods and Karen Dinino, and Tod Goldberg) and my daughter, Anea. I hadnt been to Walla Walla since about 2002, and my ex hadnt been there since 1998.  It was very strange to be "home" in the town where I grew up, where I raised  my own kids, and where I have so much "history" -- personal, professional, and emotional.  After the graveside service, folks toddled off to the Marcus Whitman Hotel for dinner...but I grabbed my daughter's rent a car, and my son and I drove over to the Taco wagon by the park.  What a memory rush!! When we lived there, he and I would go there all the time, and I even had a special burrito that they made for me to my specifications.  When we walked up to the taco wagon, the wonderful woman who runs it recognized us right away and about fell over in her cellantro. She hadnt seen us in years! "Do you want your special?" she asked. SURE!!! She remembered how to make it just like in the :"old days" - and there we were, wearing our dark suits with torn black ribbons, going "mmmmmmmmmmmm" as we savored one of the great pleasures in life --- a comnination of smells, sights and flavors from the days years ago when he was little (instead of 26) my folks were both still living, I was a married man with a four bedroom home, full recording studio in the basement, and sitting in the park with my son and/or daughter, enjoying Tinos Tacos was one of life's simple pleasures.  We also drove by the house I grew up in, the grade school I attnended, and saw how the little town had changed....Walla Walla, thanks to the exploding wine industry has become the Beverly Hills of Eastern Washington...the home I sold in 2000 for $250,000 is, seven years later, worth over one million dollars. Go figure. Prices have skyrocketed, and the town's image is surprisingly snooty for a farm town built on wheat ranches and bordellos. No, bordellos are not a type of onion. Mom is gone. Dad is gone. I dont live there anymore. None of us do, except my cousin Steve. Except to visit my parents' graves, or for nostalgia, there isn't anything there for me except memories....most of them very good ones...after all i was born there, lived there until i was 18, and then lived there again for another 18 years between 1980 and 1998.  Now I live in Los Angeles...well, actually Van Nuys, Ca.  I'll be back there sometime this coming week. Right now I'm in Seattle, Wa. in my brothers lovely home on Lake Washington. My daughter flies in from her overnight stay in Walla Walla Saturday, she and I and my son will spend Saturday night together for fun....then she is off to New York on business. Sigh Life is so full of life, even when someone dies.

Media Executives Arrested in Phoenix

Media Executives Arrested in Phoenix

By DAVID CARR

Two executives from Village Voice Media — a company that owns a number of alternative weeklies including The Village Voice, The LA Weekly and The Phoenix Times — were arrested Thursday night in Phoenix on charges that a story published earlier in the day in The Phoenix New Times revealed grand jury secrets....Michael Lacey, the executive editor, and Jim Larkin, chief executive, were arrested at their homes after they wrote a story that revealed that the Village Voice Media company, its executives, its reporters and even the names of the readers of its website had been subpoenaed by a special prosecutor.

The subpoena asks for information not only about the newspaper’s reporting, but also the information on readers who may have seen material deemed confidential published on the newspaper’s website, including the internet domain names and browsers used, and any other information about online readers of the publication since Jan. 1, 2004.

Yipes!  If they ask me who reads my blog, and everything about you...I'll tell them the only people who read my blog are Dogsdontpurr and my dog, Isis. I wont tell them Dogsdontpurr is a person. Let them figure it out.

"Nazis! I hate those guys!" -- Indiana Jones

Art lives in us all

antique

  ------------ No you cant find me as an antique. I am not that old. I am a collectable.

I used this clever search gizmo and found all sorts of cool stuff, such as an Art Deco vanity for only $7,750, and a woo hoo complete deco office set up with wild bookcase for a mere $15,500.  I also found a hard back copy of The First Saint Omnibus (no dust jacket) for $25. Use it, buy something.

The Incredible Shrinking Man -- His name is Burl

Several years ago,  I was put on a medication that had an unpleasant (for me) side effect -- I began wasting away in Mukilteoville. I couldn't stop losing weight. I was dropping pounds faster than a Hollywood wannabe drops names.
Looking like a poster child for concentration camps, folks figured I had some horrid disease -- in truth, I had the wrong medication.
Well, here we go again. The "correct" medication has been discontinued due to lack of significant profits by the manufacturer, and my doctor has experimented on me with various substitutes. The latest one works fine --except I have dropped almost FIFTEEN POUNDS n a matter or a few months!
This is crazy. I spoke to the pharmacist who said "yes, this is not unusual. It is a common side effect. Try guzzling massive amounts of Ensure Plus or Boost Plus or have fat implants!"
Soooooo...I'm popping the top of another 350 calories, followed by another 350 calorie chaser - one strawberry, the other chocolate.  If you see me and notice I look like I'm too thin, you're right. I am. I'm not sick, I'm just too damn skinny. This is the price I pay for health.

Your name is common, mine isn't

HowManyOfMe.com

There are 0 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Well, I have news for them. There is ONE person in the USA named Burl Barer, and that is I.

There are less than 500 people in America named BARER. All of us are related. I've met a lot of them, and many more I haven't met.  There is a BARER FAMILY group on Facebook, with some interesting info, and Alan Barer's blog has wonderful family stories from years gone by.

How many people have your name? Find out.

Meanwhile, I'm finishing up MOM SAID KILL for Pinnacle True Crime, and polishing CRUSH HOUR, the action/adventure/disaster novel I wrote with Jeff Green, Danger Fisherman! WOO HOOO...that one is FUN!

We Love it in Seattle -- VIDEO

BROKEN DOLL -- TRUE CRIME CLASSIC

My 2003 true crime book, BROKEN DOLL, was re-released this month as a "True Crime Classic."  If you missed it first time around, here's your chance to grab it.
Burl Barer picks his cases carefully, and each book takes us not only into the minds of killers and the broken lives affected by his or her actions, but into the very fabric of American society. BROKEN DOLL tells of Richard Mathew Clark, family "friend" who kidnaps, rapes and murders innocent 7-year old Roxanne, then actually goes camping with Roxanne's father. The lives and families of both victim and perpetrator are fully illumined, and we see with horrid clarity that the humanity of Clark was probably kidnapped raped and killed long before he crawled through the little girl's bedroom window and did to her body what was done to his mind. Brilliantly researched and written by America's master of investigative crime writing

One Hour to Live.....what would you do?

LONDON (Reuters) -- An asteroid is on a collision course with the earth and
you have one hour left to live. What would you do in your last 60 minutes?

Not surprisingly, the majority of Britons questioned in a survey -- 54
percent -- said they would like to spend it either with or on the phone to
their loved ones.

But the survey revealed a strong hedonistic streak -- 13 percent would sit
back, accept the inevitable and reach for a glass of champagne.

Sex appealed to only nine percent while just three percent would turn to
prayer.

Two percent intriguingly said they would reach for some fatty food while
another two percent decided, with just an hour's life to go, that it was
time to start looting.

Looting? With one hour left, what would they do with the loot?