Crime Expert BURL BARER. Edgar Award Winner and NYT Bestselling Author

Lethal Charmer -- Patricia Springer joins us Saturday 2pm Pacific.

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Saturday 2pm Pacific time! 
 Fort Worth businessman Stephen Barbee was handsome, popular, and married to a wonderful woman. There was just one problem: His ex-girlfriend, Lisa Underwood, was pregnant - and asking for money...As guests gathered for Lisa's baby shower with presents and good wishes, only two things were missing: Lisa, and her seven-year-old son, Jayden. As time passed, friends and family became concerned. But even their worst fears couldn't compare to the gruesome truth...Lisa was still at home when Barbee showed up. Voices were raised. Then fists. By the end, Lisa, her unborn child, and young Jayden were dead...But all police found was a bloody room. What followed was an investigation filled with lurid twists, a wild trial, grisly details of multiple murder, a shocking burial, and the warped motives of a man who would do anything to gain his own happiness.

Rave Reviews for TIED IN (edited by Lee Goldberg)

When Lee Goldberg ask me to contribute to TIED IN, The Business, History and Craft of Media Tie-In Writing, I had no idea that this compilation of articles by those of us who write Tie-Ins would garner such wide spread interest, rave reviews and sparkling on-line discussions.

 My first exposure to tie-ins was comic books such as MAVERICK and 77 SUNSET STRIP, and then came the tie-in novels to THE MAN FROM UNCLE. I wanted to be on of the guys who wrote tie-ins. Guess what? I am, and that's why Lee asked me to join in the fun of writing TIED-IN.  The other contributors offer their invaluable insights, and I admit almost childlike "hero worship" of my co-contributors, and am honored to be included in their league.  If you love movies, TV, comics and books, you will enjoy Tied-In.

The Strange Literary Career of Mian Mohsin Zia

Mian Mohsin Zia is brilliant, humble, dedicated, creative and obsessed with writing a great book. There is no other author in my experience who presents literature as a multi-media experience that is both intensely personal and emotionally universal.  He writes his books in the first person, with shifting tenses and displaced modifiers. Every paragraph cries out for revision, clarification -- yet the man teaches English. "I am not a native speaker," admits Zia, "and the native speaker has an advantage in any language."  Zia publishes his books is more than one language, and they come with beautiful photographic interpretations, well-intentioned "poetry" and enough bonus material to qualify his books as the print equivalent of a Criterion DVD.  

He is young. He is a writer. There is no such thing as a child prodigy author. Painting, music, and other audio/visual arts are often manifested in dazzling displays of genius  -- the baby savant with a natural ear, the toddler who can play any keyboard instrument, but manifesting literary maturity requires life experiences, talent, and..the craft itself.

Speaking to Mian is to encounter a hailstorm of humility, pelting you constantly with denials of egotistical intent. "Name one other author anywhere in the world of your experience," he challenges, "who gives you a book that not only offers a compelling story, an important message, an insight into matters spiritual, but also photography from a team comprised of people from Pakistan to Mexico, custom poetry, and this book being available in more than one language? Tell me. There is no other, yet I am nothing." All credit, he insists, belongs to God alone, and his eternal inspiration, the Prophet Mohammad (PBUH). 

Mian is a man of deep faith, and lives his religion of peace in a most exemplary fashion. Dedicated to the universality of the human condition, he often places his stories in undisclosed locales -- he doesn't name the city or country as to allow the reader to put it in their country, their culture. The concept is bit impractical, yet it is is something Kafka would do without a second thought..  

It is perhaps proof of his talent that the mind bending sentence structure that would get him slapped silly in any Western creative writing class does not interfere with readers' falling in love with his books -- but not in love enough to make writing financially viable for Mian Zia.  

Here is my take on this budding literary talent -- just as his books have been translated int Russian, they should also be translated into English. Yes, he writes them in English, but not the English of American literature, be it classical or pulp fiction.   The books are written in Pakistani English, with the sentence structure familiar to Americans who have met Hindustanis from India, or Muslims from Pakistan. 'They talk so cute," a woman recently said, "and there is something endearing about the accent and the more elaborate tense renderings.  A phrase such as "He will need it later," is "when the current time is moved forward, he is needing it.'"  That is not incorrect. It's simply a different language that resembles the one you know.

The big problem with being Mian  Zia is the lack of income from book sales. He self-publishes and relies upon the internet and word of mouth to make his name and his money.  As with many young people -- and early 20's is still young -- he invests his output with almost magical power, assuming that what flies from his fingertips is somehow invested with perfection due to the "automatic writing" sensation.  Master the craft. It takes a lifetime.  Perhaps Mian is the Ed Wood of serious contemporary literature -- all heart, passion, dedication, and drive -- impatiently in love with a craft that has captured him to the point of near imprisonment.  Remember the name Mian Moshen Zia -- his day will come. Or, shall i say, "the day of which he was waiting would be  past the time of it's anticipated arrival, yet it was there."  Visit his site, get his books. 

  

Legitimate Literary Agents do not charge reading or processing fees!

First time writers seeking literary agents are often unaware that legitimate literary agents do not charge reading fees or so-called "processing fees."

Dave Kuzminski of Predators and Editors says it best:

Legitimate agents do not charge reading fees. Their own organization bans those. What makes you more of an expert than the agents themselves when it comes to such fees?

Furthermore, what you paid for is a critique. However, critiques are subjective because those depend strongly on the individual preferences of the critiquer. You could get a dozen such critiques pointing out problems with your manuscript and still get represented by a legitimate agent and even published by a legitimate publisher because it may still be marketable in their opinion. Likewise, you could get a dozen such critiques that gush over your manuscript, but still get rejected simply because there are other manuscripts just slightly better or more marketable in the opinion of those doing the representing or buying.

Send your work to agents who don't charge reading fees. I think you'll find that you stand a better chance that way then trying to rewrite your manuscript to match what one critique suggested only to be disappointed later when you discover that you're trying to make one size fit all when in publishing it can't.

Remember, your objective should be gaining acceptances, not rejections.

Dave's Predators and Editors site is the standard for avoiding scams. Check it out! 

Corey Mitchell gives advance praise to FATAL BEAUTY.

"Impeccable research, journalistic integrity, and a powerful narrative drive -- Burl Barer's Fatal Beauty is my kind of true crime book!"  -- Corey Mitchell, Los Angeles Times best selling author of Savage Son, Pure Murder, Strangler, Evil Eyes and more...

Advance order Fatal Beauty from your favorite bookseller!

 

Jeff Goldblum in an astonishing performance: Adam Resurrected.

 I had never heard of this film, but it caught my eye in the video store tonight. 

This is not your usual Holocaust film, and it is certainly a remarkable departure for Jeff Goldblum.  I won't say he gives the performance of his career, because his career isn't over, but he turns in a compelling performance.

Based on the controversial novel of the same name, Adam Resurrected is well worth renting. Sit down with no distractions and watch it without interruption. 

When Dogs Die. Are there dogs in heaven?

My friend Donna's dog, Taz, died today.  Taz actually passed away in Donna's arms, wrapped in his signature bathrobe.  I should be so lucky.  

"Are there dogs in heaven?"  Good question, and one that I used as the emotional undercurrent (although metaphoric) in my novel HEADLOCK: A Jeff Reynolds Mystery.

Here, from HEADLOCK, is my meditation on "Dog in Heaven."

.. ..If heaven has dogs and cats, I doubt they're real. I don't buy the "pet soul" theory. When Fido drops his last bone, his bones will never roll to Canine Jerusalem for the Great Resurrection. Tell that to my dog-lovin' Cousin Tom and he'll call that hell.

. ..So, what does God do for those dog lovers, cat lovers, cactus lovers, marsupial fanciers and ferriers with terriers? Simple. The All Merciful allows them to retain their pets in the next world just as long as they think they need them. How long is that? How transcendent is the desire to hug a pooch, be licked by Lassie, or rescued by Rin Tin Tin? If you fall down a well in the next world, who will run and bark to Gramps?

. ..Perhaps, when we die, we get what we need or expect for as long as we need it. In the realms beyond, dogs may seemingly run through waving astral planes of wheat, barking amongst the barley and romping mud-pawed in alternative reality rice paddies. Pet lovers, delighting in the antics of these etheric dog-equivalents, find heaven in compassionate illusion.

EMAIL FRAUD CHAIN LETTER -- Write your own, I did!

In this day and age, absurd nonsense worthy of Saturday Night Live such as "death panels," and frauds such as the fake "Kenya birth certificate," are swallowed whole by  fearful citizens manipulated by immoral pundits and asshat politicians. Thankfully there are sources of fact and accuracy ever ready to reveal the "real truth" and point out the real danger facing our great nation which you and I both know is....

MEXICAN JEWS INVADE AMERICA

 -- Hollywood Liberals Encourage Wetback Assault.

"Think of the Rio Grande as the Red Sea, Mexican slave labor as the Children of Israel, and you get the picture," said a famous researcher in a letter to an obscure Governor. "DNA studies show the largest number of genetic Jews in America are Mexicans living in Texas, Arizona and New Mexico. You bet those Hollywood Liberals -- bagel biting bastards all -- want more and more of their fellowZionists over running our fields, contaminating our produce, and infiltrating our fruit. Do you think the recent outbreak of deadly lettuce virus is an accident of nature?  While their Yiddish spouting co-conspirators diverted our attention with dirty movies and race music, the Ladino speaking Sephardi faction of this conspiracy was communicating with their south of the border minions, plotting this Jewish Mexican Invasion to steal all the low paying jobs, and secure positions of power as undocumented domestics in secretive sweat shops where, their evil plotting obscured by the constant drone of sewing machines and the cracking of whips, the clever Jews advance their plan of world domination."

---

The above assertions are absurd. This is satire. Feel free to send on to everyone and see how many idiots take it seriously.

KJR Seattle, Channel 95: Big Jim Martin & House of Blue Lights

When Allen Goldblatt, Bill Stroum and I were in ZBT at the University of Washington, Allen and I shared a room on the third floor. Bill wisely lived at home on Mercer Island.  Allen and I would stay up late listening to Big Jim Martin on 95 KJR.  We would call up and request "House of Blue Lights," and Big Jim would always play it.  I started going out to KJR in the middle of the night, and Big Jim would (in violation of the "rules") let me in. I would watch him play the hits. The secret of a good all-night radio show, he said, was one amphetamine and a bottle of hard liquor. Jim had a clever trick. He would record his show between 1am and 2am, and play it back between 4am and 5am. In that hour, we would leave the station and go down to the Blue Eagle for breakfast. We would make it back before the top of the hour, and he would do 5-6am live and well fed.  

Within a year, I was working with Big Jim, Tom Murphy , Pat O'day and the rest of my radio heroes at the Mighty 95. Yes, I only did weekends at first, but even weekends at KJR was more than most jocks in the Northwest would ever achieve.  I did midnight -6am Friday and Saturday.  I worked the Trolly Club those same nights, leaving the nightclub at 11:30 pm to be to KJR on time.  One night as I got into my car, my pal Bill was about to enjoy a joint outside the club "Hey," I said, "don't stand and smoke it under the street light. You're liable to get busted!"   Yep -- busted. I remember getting the call from the Seattle City Jail about twenty minutes after midnight on the KJR hotline.

I recall those days, crises and all, with fondness -- and most especially the kindness of Big Jim Martin on those long nights where we sat and yakked and he played Paul Butterfield's EAST'/WEST about 3am.  When they moved Jim to mid-days, they made him wear a white shirt and tie. Jim never seemed the white shirt and tie kind of guy to me, but damn he had a voice and delivery perfect for any time slot. This guy was smooth, clever, and was an exemplary communicator.  He's gone now. Yep. One more radio hero passes away.  

This picture is what Big Jim looked like when I was 18 years old, and just starting at KJR.  I'm not 18 anymore, Allen and I are not living at ZBT, and Bill Stroum isn't at his folk's house on Mercer Island. Allen, Bill and I are all still alive. Haven't seen Bill in several years, but I saw Allen for New Years, and he officiated my daughter's wedding.

Earlier this June, Robert O. Smith passed away.He was another great talent I worked with at both KJR and KOL.

In August of each year, those of us who worked together in the Seattle market get together for lunch. Every year there are fewer of us, and I didn't make the last couple lunches.  This year I plan on being there -- you never know when you won't see a friend again, share a laugh, and recycle old memories.  

I suggest that you, even if  young and vibrant, consider the fact that no one knows how much time they have, or when that time is up. If there are those for whom you care, those whom you admire, or those whose lives touched yours, make sure you treasure the opportunity to have one more laugh, one more lunch.  And maybe play "House of Blue Lights."